Call of Duty Black Ops:

This game cam out on December 9, 2010. Now the thing about this game is that there is that it has a sequel. Who knew right? I mean they didn't even have any commercials on TV like, ever. Except for the ten or twenty that I saw in the fire week of it being on the market. So there was no way anyone knew anything about COD Black Ops 2.

So let me start with the good stuff. This game actually has a clever way of telling the story line. If you think of a guy tied to a chair, forced to tell a story about his experiences in war, clever. However it is kind of cool because your not killed when your done telling you story. Overall this game does flow pretty nicely. Although the way the story goes is that you skip ahead to each battle, to say what happened and how everything blew up in you face and how you eventually got strapped to a chair in the US or something. Although the game is not super repetitive, unless you consider shooting bullets at models of enemies in several different environments. There are some cool twists and turns that I would not change.

Okay good stuff is over. Surprisingly there isn't that much that is bad to say about it, but like I said in my Battlefield Bad Company 2 review, they keep assigning random values for how much damage a bullet does. Honestly several of the weapons are the same caliber, and the damage amount should only vary a slight amount for each weapon. I mean think about it, does it really make sense for an M16, and a M14a (they have the same caliber: .223) to have 10 points of difference on how much damage they do? This is simple stuff that I think developers of these realistic games should take into account.

Also I will speak specifically on one particular map alone, WMD. Now the thing is with this map, is that there is a way to get onto the roofs of the buildings. Except before I get everyone's hopes up, you can't get on top of the buildings because the creators of the game decided to put an invisible wall right where you could get up onto a building. Not cool if you ask me. It would be so much cooler if video game developers actually gave some more freedom to the players. How much more fun would it be if you could snipe someone on the roof? Well now that I think about it, it would be so cool if you could do a 360 no scope with the snipers rifle in mid air as the final kill?

Anyways this is a pretty decent game, but it's not the best game ever made in the history of the world. Now some people would make you think that, but I recommend playing it before making you own decision about how good or bad the game is.

Rating: 2/5

Screen shots:

 
 

Bloon Tower Defense 5:

This is an internet based game by Ninja Kiwi. As from the title it is most likely a tower defense style as several of you have guessed already. Also you may have guessed that it is the fifth installment in the series. It is also the hardest to play in the later levels.

Now the biggest issue with this game is the lag. It is not as bad on the IOS version (yes it is available on the app store). The game gets so hectic that you get down to .01 frames per second once you reach round 500. Which you never will because none of you have heard of the game. And if you have and you reading this: shame.

Now besides the lag issue this is actually a pretty fun game. You do what you always do in a tower defense game, protect the invisible town just beyond the end of the track which you never will get to see ever because the game camera never changes from top down.

There are a lot of new features in this version of the game. There are new towers and new bloon types and other things that are quite irritating that you have to play the game to understand why. One of the new types of bloons is the regenerating type of bloons. These are bloons that are shaped like heart that regenerate to the type of bloon they spawned at. That is unless you blow the living crap out of them because they are SO ANNOYING when you don't have the right towers.

There is also a new kind of blimp, I don't know what the name of it is off of the top of my head but here is the gist: It is green, has a skull on it, is incredibly hard to destroy, splits into red blimps which split in to blue blimps. Now these don't spawn until the later levels when you have practiced for several days straight.

Now some of you may be worried about glitches, so let me talk about them:
None.

Actually that is half true. There is only 1 glitch and that is on the IOS version. But even so it is not major. What happens is the bloons fail to spawn. This can be fixed by saving and exiting to the main menu and then resuming you game.

So all in all this is a pretty fin game and will for sure prevent you from going out side and doing something actually productive. So all in all you should play this game. But be warned: If you want all of the un-lockables, you have to play a lot because you need XP to unlock all of the tower upgrades.

Rating: 2.5/5

Screen shots:

 
 

Red Remover

Red Remover is a block remover. In this game the goal is to get rid of all of the red blocks. You can get rid of the light red blocks by clicking on them, but you cant get rid of the dark red blocks like that, you have to destroy a blue or a light red and have the red one fall off. In this game all of the green blocks have to stay on the screen, if they fall off, you will lose the level. Blue blocks don't matter, if doesn't matter if they go away or stay. There are four plains of gravity and blocks fall whatever way they are facing.

This game is really fun. It is really well done. All of the levels make you think and some levels take timing and speed to complete. I a lot of thought was put into every level and none of the levels are the same. The physics are not super realistic, but having realistic physics would ruin the game. Overall I give this game a 3.5/5.

The Blockheads

The blockheads

The blockheads is a fun little game in the apple App Store it is like terraria and minecraft game. The controls are a little different than both of those games. You need to tap what'd you want the blockhead to go than I takes time to craft things. This game Is like minecraft because Is is made out of blocks. And is like terraria because it is 2d once you. Have enough time crystals you can warp in more blockheads to do what you ask them to do. Then you can have one explore the over world and another can explore the under ground in my opinion is quiet useful

Minimononline
Minimon is a very fun Pokemon clone for iOS. It has the same mechanics as all of the other Pokemon clones catch train and raise you monsters with all of the other features Pokemon the  game is still in its beta stages and might have a lot of bugs so do not get disapionted. It should be fixed within a week. The game is only ninty nine cents.

Flow free
This game is for all of you puzzle lovers it is called flow free. The game is simple puzzle in witch you need to connect the dots. But the lines can not intersect and the entire grid needs to be filled up so even if you have all of the flows. So very hard but fun

Tank hero the laser wars
Now this game is for all people that like blasting things to bits. In this game you get power ups to blow more things to bits. In the later stages of the you can pickup lightning power ups that make you move much faster or make your power up become much better. This game is on the ois App Store for a price of 99 cents

Terrapets 2
Terra pets is the second Pokemon clone I am reviewing the walking around aspect makes this game very close to pokemon but not exactly and capturing is much more challenging o capture a trees pet you need to use a ocarina

Assassin's Creed:

Assassin's Creed was released on November 13, 2007. It is a sandbox/realistic game where you play *Spoiler Start* an ancestor of the character who is actually in the future going through you ancestor's memory. Yes you start in the year 2012 or 11 or something like that. You would have to play the game to know what the frekin year is *Spoiler End*.

This game actually has some cool ideas in it that you can actually think about after you stop playing this game to get some fresh air after 5 HOURS. Which you can easily do because this game is a lot of fun. Sure it gets a little repetitive after a while but that can be solved by punching a guard here and there, and then heading onto the roof tops with 50 guards following you, finally throwing them of the tops buildings that are 10 stories  high. But then of course you get thrown of the top of a 10 story building and then you die, setting you back to the last checkpoint that just so happens is 20 minutes from where you last where.

Now you might not like getting thrown of of buildings, so the campaign is for you. Of course you should play this most of the way through any way, just so that you can unlock different areas of the world. But you have to keep in mind that there is no free play mode, so if you feel like roaming around the lines of code called Assassin's Creed, instead of going outside because you are so addicted to it, then you will have to wait till the second to last, or third to last levels to have almost everywhere unlocked.

I wish that this game did have a free play mode, but you can stay pretty entertained by the campaign  It  really is a lot of fun. It is well structured (except for the ending, and slightly repetitive) and the game play is smooth and easy. Of course you should learn the controls before you try scaling the tallest building in the game. You can have a lot of fun in this game and I recommend that you all play it because there is much fun to be had and you are all missing out.

Rating: 3.25/5

You can order this game from: www.amazon.com

Screen shots!:

 
 

iOS Insanity - Punch Quest.

For our first issue if iOS Insanity we have a free arcade style punching game called Punch Quest, made by RocketCat. This is a pretty simple game where you start by going through the castle door with your fists, and then using the same method to go through everything else there until you die, and I mean everything. You can punch torches, chests, walls, spikes, wraiths, bats, cyclopes, skeletons, zombies, treasure chests, bags, statues, chandeliers, eggs, and various food items.
The game actually requires an amount of skill, and to get far you are going to need to play over and over again. There are a lot of upgrades to make your attacks more useful. if you have some time to waste, I would recommend this game. And hey, it's free!
Check it out on the app store,
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/punch-quest/id554223561?mt=8

This is going to be a difficult article to write, because I really like this system, but I really don't like how it's been going on so far. I don't want to jump on the bandwagon of people who hate Greenlight just because we "shouldn't let the power to pick games be with the people who buy them" because I think that makes no sense, but LOOK AT THIS! So far on Greenlight we have seen three games that actually don't work, and it's not getting much better. The system has released such games as Towns, whose developers actually lie about the game, Ace of Spades, which has more hackers than the entire counter-strike community, and several unnoticeable free to play MMO games, most of which have never held anything near a candle to World of Warcraft.
I would really like for this to work, and I think I have some suggestions. First of all, I think they should assign things that are similar to moderators, who will take down all clones. 

Happy Wheels:

Well somebody had to do it so here it goes:

Happy Wheels is a simple sand boxing/puzzle solving game where you get to make levels and go through them with a character. Now the one thing that sets this game apart from others is that it is internet based, so there is no downloads, and it is stuffed with graphic content. Now that being one of the things that sometimes I don't enjoy, it is fun to have you character spontaneously com-bust when you hit a wrecking ball hitting you at the speed of sound. Sorry no, you flying at the speed of sound when you get hit by the wrecking ball.

Of course there are the glitches and I must say the most annoying is the one where you are riding along and then you explode for no apparent reason at all. You just go boom and there is nothing you can do about except for restart the level because you are dead and you cannot move because you head is on the other side of the world.

Now I know that a lot of people like a lot of cartoon-y gore, and I also know that a lot of people who like cartoon-y gore haven't heard of this game. That is a shame and if you haven't played it you should. It has no campaign, no missions at all. It is all about playing levels that a bunch of random people made, some good, some bad, and having a lot of fun watching you guy explode in anger and in some kind of sick humor.

Also the gravity physics are pretty realistic. You accelerate and decelerate realistically and you explode..........   well not so realistically. But the game is still a lot of fun, and the only 2 complaints I have are:

1. Random explode glitch.
2. Level editor does not have unlimited space.

Besides my complaints, this is a pretty fun game. I would recommend playing it after you are done reading this review.

Rating: 3/5

Where to go: http://www.totaljerkface.com/happy_wheels.php

Screen shots:

 
 

Red Car

Red Car is a racing simulator. It is a flash game, so you can play it online and don't have to download it. In this game you control the red car from start to end. The controls are Up to go forward, Left to go left, Right to go right, and Down to go backwards. 

This game is bad. The whole time I was driving it felt like I was driving on ice. I would turn right, then skid 20 feet before I start going strait again. The turning is absolutely horrible, you turn way to fast. When I barley tap Right, I am already facing 90 degrees to the right. In this game you can turn even when the car is completely still. The car's physics are very unrealistic.  When you hit the wall, you explode into a bunch of red pixels. Even thought this game is bad, it is still a fun game to play and a little bit addicting. I give this game a 2.5/5.

Super Crate Box

Super Crate Box is a game that is trying to accomplish the old arcade style game. In this game the score is how many crates you get, not how many kills you get. If this game counted kills someone could just go in the middle with a good weapon, but because it counts how many crates you get, the game makes you go out and move.

This game's style of play is very good. The enemies aren't too hard to kill nor are they to easy. Super Crate Box has many different weapons, and each time you get a crate you get a knew weapon. That can make it so if someone has a good weapon they can't have that weapon the whole time. I think this game did a good job of replicating an old arcade game, the graphics and soundtrack are both realistic to that style of game. Overall, I give this game a 3/5.

Counter Strike: Source

Counter Strike: Source is a multi player FPS. This game has many game modes including: Gungame, Deathmatch, and many other game modes. In all of the game modes it is terrorists against counter terrorists. 

This game has a lot of different guns. Even though you cannot customize or put addons to you guns it doesn't matter because it is so fast paced. The physics can get get a little weird on some objects. The graphics aren't the best, but graphics aren't something you focus on in this type of game. The gun's physics and mechanics in this game are great, all of the actions on the guns are really realistic. Overall I give this game a 3.5/5.

Trouble In Terriorist Town

Trouble In Terrorist Town is a game mode for the game Garry's Mod. In this game there are innocents, detectives, and traitors. Innocents are just innocent people, detectives are innocent people except they have a DNA scanner and have accesses to a special detective store, and traitors have access to a different store and know who the other traitors are. The traitors have to kill all of the innocent people. The traitors are greatly outmatched by the innocent people and have to work together to kill them.

This game mode is my favorite part of Garry's Mod. This game mode uses weapons and objects from the game Counter Strike: Source. The weapons and objects would look better if the person who made this used the knew Counter Strike game: Counter Strike: GO. Some of the weapons are a little over powered, for example: the Deagle has too much power and too little cool down time. Some weapons are also under powered, for example: you can not get ammo for the Huge. This game mode was really well made and does not have that many glitches or cheats. Overall I give this game mode a 4/5.

Portal 2:

This game was published on April 19, 2011. Some of you may have seen the commercials of the robots in the small room screwing around. Well that is one of the things in Portal 2 but I will talk about that a little later. The real campaign follows the character from the original first game. You start out in a small room and you get "saved" by a robot ball that is not the humans biggest fan.

You start by going through a bunch of levels shooting portals here and there on wall that have such lovely graphics you will praise valve. Sorry the entire game has fantastic graphics and lag is almost never present.

Now the thing that I love the most about Portal 2, is the single player campaign. It has lots of twists and turns and you won't expect a lot of the things that happen in the end. Also it is sort of mind boggling in some puzzles. You think how the heck am I supposed to get through this? And then you finally get and yell yes at the TV even though it is not alive. The single player campaign also brings back *Spoiler Start* the AI GLaDOS. The multiplier campaign also has GLaDOS in it. Although the multiplier campaign technically takes place after your character leaves the facilities *Spoiler End*.

The multiplier is good too, but it isn't as good as the single player. You have similar things that happens in the single player campaign like *Spoiler Start* how you go down into the old Aperture Science testing labs *Spoiler End*. Although the multiplier is at some points actually easier than single player (because you have two heads instead of one). But the multiplier can also be very difficult because you have to use 2 sets of portals to get through the puzzle.

This is one of the best games that I have played in a while. It has a great story and fantastic graphics. This is why I give this game a 4/5.

Rating: 4/5

Here's some screen shots:

 
 

Battlefield Bad Company 2:

This is a first person shooter with action elements which was released on March 2, 2010. Like my last review, I played this game on the PC, however this game has been released on multiple platforms like the Xbox and the Play Station 3. Now I would recommend playing games on the PC because this is the platform which is generally released first. Also you have control over graphics and if you would rather have a higher frames per second, then you can drop the graphics.

Now for the actual review. This game has fun game play but ends up being less and less unrealistic. Some things are realistic like the weapons, for instance they mostly have the right name and look good. Although I do know that the damage values are completely incorrect. Like in every single FPS ever made on the planet.

The game does have a decent story line, but it is completely fictional. Some people may not appreciate that very much knowing that a ton of people loved the C.O.D. series. Although I do have to clarify that although the C.O.D. series is fictional it has places that are real and wars that actually happened. This game is not like that. You fight a fictional war to find a *Spoiler Start* weapon that does amazing things and if certain people get there hands on it the world will end and explode or something like that *Spoiler End*.

One thing that really is cool about this game is the destruction physics. There is this one level where you get held up in a *Spoiler Start* small building and get blasted by a tank *Spoiler End*. Destruction physics add a lot of cool effects which many main stream games don't have. Like COD Black Ops. Destruction physics would make that game a lot better and a lot harder.

Although I would not choose this game as the best game ever, I would give it a 2.25/5. It has a lot of cool things like vehicles and stuff like that, but it isn't super good. It gets a C at best and has a short campaign that you can blow through in a couple of days with a minimal of around two hours a day. So I would not beg you to play this game but it not bad and not good either.

Rating: 2.25/5

Here are some screen shots:

 
 

Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2 or TF2 is one of my favorite games. It is a multiplayer FPS. It does not have a main story line. This game has many different mini games within it. Some of the games are: Capture the Flag, Payload, Payload Race, Attack and Defense, Control points, King of the hill, Special Delivery, and Territorial Control. In this game there are 9 different classes you can play as. There are 3 attack classes, 3 defense classes, and 3 support classes. The attack classes are: Scout, Soldier, and Pyro. The defense classes are: Demo Man, Heavy, and Engineer. The support classes are: Medic, Sniper, and Spy.

This game is really good. The graphics look like a cartoon, but the are still high resolution. The different classes are unique in some ways but similar in other ways. That makes different strategies for each class. I love how every class has it's own voice, so not everybody sounds the same. This game's physics are a really good except for some things. For example, when someone dies, their body becomes a rag doll, it doesn't just disappear like in some other games. You can rocket and sticky jump in this game. A rocket jump is when you are Soldier and you shoot your rocket launcher at your feet and jumping, doing this can make you jump very high into the air and you can link jumps together to go very fast. Sticky jumping is preformed when  a demo man shoots sticky bombs on the ground then jumps over them and detonates them at the same time, this can make a person go very fast and high. Those two things aren't that realistic, if you try to do a rocket jump in real life you will just die. This game takes a lot of strategy and there are some people who are really good at this game, some of the game modes are hard and some are easy, that makes this game a good game for many different people of different skill levels. The company that makes this game, Valve, is constantly making updates for this game. Those updates include, patches, making weapons better or worse, adding new items, and making the game better in general. That is one of my favorite parts about TF2, most companies just make the game and don't add updates, they make it and they are done. Overall this game is a really good game, I give it a 4/5.

Flywrench

Flywrench is a game having mostly to do with electronics either exploding or grinding together while sparking and malfunctioning. The former, of course, being the gameplay, and the second, counter-intuitively, is the background music.

The main point of the game is to get from one end of the level to the other, using the mechanics that color your ship to pass through the different gates, the mechanics that make you turn... and that pretty much the extent of that. Even with the simple mechanics, the gameplay is actually pretty varied, with all kinds of different situations to get through with the mechanics. The movement controls also lend to some really nice movement if you're good at it, but you have to be REALLY GOOD, or else you will die. A lot.
The story is pretty nonexistent. You start on a screen that tells you that you are a ship, and you need to get to the center of the galaxy by hacking gates. You then are shown that you are in the galaxy, and the screen goes over to Pluto, on which you start. Not to spoil anything, the story gets much more intriguing towards the end, but seems like it's leading up to something that never arrives, or a big letdown, depending on what you see in the end.
The graphics. That's all i'm going to say. Just look up at the title, and you've seen it all. The music is not much better either, and these are the two worst parts of the game. I think that the graphics look really interesting. It might put off some people, but it has a chance of being good. The music, on the other hand, sounds like you took several cars, messed with the horn speakers, continually held down the horn WHILE activating the alarm, on and off, over and over again, crashing the CaRS INtoEACH OTHER, OVER AND OVER, NEVERSTOPPINGNEVERSTOPPINGOHMYGODtHYreCOMinGTOGETMEEE!!!
*huff, huff* okay, so clearly the handmade electronica style music, with ACTUAL ELECTRONICS, was not a good idea, but all in all it's not a bad experience, just simply due to the great gameplay and how everything moves together. If, you're interested, give it a look. Just mute the audio first, or you'll know what happened last sunday in New Jersey.


so much insanity...

Upcoming Game(?)

Mew-Genics is a strange anomaly making rounds on the internet. Like any anomaly, it is most definitely what it is unless it's not, and definitely not what it is until after it becomes a thing.

Let me explain. Mew-Genics, specifically, is a new series of code lines from renowned Indie developer, Edmund McMillian, a developer very well renowned for his odd humor and strange themes. if you need proof, look at The Binding of Isaac.

This would be a link, if it was a link. Just look it up!

All of that is definitely shown here. For one thing, the cast of characters that would only seem out of place if you live in the collective mind of an insane asylum.

There's Frank:

A man who still lives in his own basement, cursed to always stand under spotlights and wear a dog suit. He is the mortal enemy of Tracy:

A lady who enjoys the company of cats WAY less than she detests humans, and enjoys the company of cats WAY more than the number of teeth she still has. Both of them go to Cat Beauty Pageants with fellow contestant, Dr. Beanies:



Which are hosted by the very eccentric Mr. Tinkles:



and has many more characters to come, apparently. The game also has many more features, like collectible Trinkets to use to do... something...
Like Poop!



These Trinkets are randomly generated, so on different playthroughs, you will never get the same Petrified Poop twice. Which is good, because I would hate it if me and my friend both showed up to a party with the same Petrified Poop.

Insofar, not much has actually been mentioned about Mew-Genics, but what has been mentioned is that there are INFINITE CATS! Mew-Genics appears to do with cats what Borderlands does with guns, which is have all kinds of different physical features and combinations, so as that they appear to be infinite. Currently, Mew-Genics has the capabilities of 128 sextillion cats, or more specifically 128.080.000.000.000.000.000 possible combinations, even without personality differences, which is completely undecipherable.

Now, I know the game isn't released yet, and we don't even freaking know what it is, but from what I've heard, I would give it a look. More updates will be released later on both this blog, and Edmund McMillian's, so keep an eye on this thing.